Rebecca, the queen of the breath (you can check her out at the TheBreathZone.com), always starts her class by reminding you what can happen both physically and mentally when you do breathwork. She’s talked about people having an out of body experience. I would love to go there on a breathwork journey but I’ve never been able to leave my body. I have had one instance where my body and I were moved to follow a different path. I think it was only my 2nd or 3rd time doing breathwork and either my 1st or 2nd time with Rebecca. It took me a long time to do breathwork properly so I’m not sure how it happened. Laying next to me on the floor was a guy breathing. Only I don’t think he was doing it properly - especially since I’ve never heard anyone ever do it again. To me, it sounded like he was moaning sexually, almost panting. It started to irritate me and I took a deep breath and told myself that I needed to train my mind to ignore all outside influences so back to breathwork I went. At some point while I was peacefully breathing, I jumped up and punched the guy right in the face! The shock that I had become someone so unlike me is what woke me from whatever reality I had traveled to. My heart was pounding and I couldn’t believe that I had totally experienced myself acting violently. It scared me that I could get that angry about something so stupid and hurt someone. By the end of class Rebecca had filled us full of love and beauty but even so I couldn’t look at that guy in the face.
Fast forward many many many breathwork classes later and I’ve never again moved so clearly to some other reality. However, just a few weeks ago I experienced another breathwork surprise. This one was after I’d come to accept that I’m never going to be the kind of person that has one amazing passion that can fill up their lives and give them something specific to focus on. I was trying to live in the moment. At the end of class when Rebecca fills us up with goodness she has us raise our hands to the universe, powers that be, the heavens, etc and has us think of a time in our life when we experienced profound joy. Usually I think of the first time I held my grandson, or times when my son was growing up and stuff we did, but not this time. For some reason, a very old memory popped in my mind. My mom wasn’t doing well and had to go to the hospital. Soon after my dad got her there she slipped into a coma. My dad brought us to the hospital to say goodbye the next day. The nurse took my brother and I into her room, preparing us for the noise and all the machines. She told us to just talk to her, that she could hear us. I remember sitting on the bed telling her about the slumber party I had gone to the night before. Telling her what a great time I had (I hadn’t had a good time at all - those girls were mean girls). I don’t remember what my brother was saying but all of a sudden alarms start going off and nurses rush in. The one that brought us into the room took us back to the waiting room. I know my brother and I both thought that was it, she was dying. The next thing we know the doctor is letting us know she came out of the coma. The joy I felt at that moment is what popped into my head. It was such an amazing feeling. I was convinced I had brought my mother back from the dead. Rebecca had us raise a hand again and this time I was still engulfed in all that joy, so when I raised my hand up, I said to myself, I’m raising my hand to my mom. All of a sudden this euritherial young woman wearing a shimmery, flowy white dress is hovering above me with her hand extended. She floats silently towards me and when we touch hands I felt my mom. The woman didn’t look like my mom, but all of a sudden it’s as if I’m with my mom. I haven’t experienced that feeling in probably 50 years. It didn’t last long but it was like I was actually with my mom. It felt so real. Needless to say, I cried tears of joy.
I don’t know what it is about breathwork, but I know I will never stop doing it. It’s given me so much. It took me a while to do it right because my ribs were kind of out of alignment from my mastectomy and reconstruction surgery. Breathwork fixed that was well! See, breathwork really is magic. It can fix just about anything! Just remember if you’re breathing next to me, please don’t moan and pant, I’m not sure how much control I have over that other Julie...
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